Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
