It's just like the Real World with babies
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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