You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
