Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
