I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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