My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
