You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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