her vagine was all disorganized.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
