I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
