i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
