Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
