I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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