Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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