I can text with my tongue
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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