just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
