So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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