my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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