i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
