Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize