Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
