I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
