Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
