The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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