There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
