im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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