This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
