Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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