i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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