This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
