my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
