the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Randomize
