Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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