you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
