I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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