ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
