Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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