i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
