sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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