So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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