yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You're a waste of cheezeits
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
