there's paper in my vomit.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
