we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Congratulations! We have a period
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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