i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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