Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
