Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
