Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Less talking, more tequila
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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