she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
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