just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
