idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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