i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
