I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Let's get the cat blown out
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
