i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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