Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
